reflections of a year...

reflections of a year

it has been one year since i left the comfort of Point Loma Nazarene and entered into the harsh world of reality. Realistically, this time has been marked by God showing me His role as Provider. 

I will not say that the journey has been easy, as that would be a lie. But I was recently reading and this struck me:

“Jesus said to her, ‘Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?’”

John 11:40

Seeing God’s glory. And in that, finding contentment in what I have seen. 

I had no plans post graduation. I had a few floating ideas but mainly wanted to survive. When I was offered a position at a summer camp, I never thought that it had the power to invade my heart. Looking back, had God not intervened when I wanted to run, I would not have the blessings of Miss H and Diva C in my life, nor the sheer joy of their presence and the presence of many other dearly loved children.

From moments of elation to long afternoons of tears, Abba taught me how to love, and love selflessly. There were days when I felt that every pore within me was leaking with it, yet most days, I struggled to be patient and kind. I clung to the promise that we are all His children, with whom He takes delight. Despite the fact that some days I am covered in my kid’s snot or throw up, I have been entrusted with the care of these children, treasured by my Father, and I have grown to love each child for who she is. 

This life is not about me or anything I accomplish. This life is about loving and serving. I spend every day ensuring children of their significance. And although I have limited monetary funds, I am rich. 

Richness extends not only to my occupation, but also to my friends. God, as my provider, blessed me with incredible women whose lives are based in faith. These women are women I am honored to call friends. And although I felt as though, at times, I was too much to carry, their love only strengthened. For that I am eternally grateful. Life in community is, at its core, good.

“He has showed you what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

Micah 6:8

Within the last year, I have learned the importance of not only appreciating where the Lord has me, but cherishing it. I love to live life, and I believe it live it passionately. Part of this great call in Micah is living everyday in a state of grace and contentment. Striving for what is good, but never neglecting to learn in all situations. 

For Rachel, Robino, Papa B, Maddie, Lynn, Lauren, the families, Gingy, Linds, Brit Stew, Bcann (princess), TLe, Traceroomie, Megan, Soph, Shelb, Shelly, Deedee, Nicole, Kel, Kelwellsy, Kari, Les, Craig, Ken, Kels, Jason, Corb, Greg, Caroline, Stephen, Matt, my girls from Nease, and there are many more, but it would go on forever--I would not be the woman I am if not for your presence in my life in the last year.

In one year, I have: 

completed 2 life goals (finishing college and running a marathon)

learned how to cook my favorite meal

fallen in and chosen to love

spent 2 hours in silence on the cliffs-this should have been a life goal, it was a miracle really

endured a broken heart

undergone the grieving process

started a life goal (graduate school)

been awakened to the fact that God’s Word was written and written for me and is alive

sang a song in public

learned how to shoot a gun

became a regular at a coffee shop

made unexpected friends

started my blog

was programmed into one of my kid’s computer

received reconciliation and restoration in situations where the Lord’s timing was perfect

cried a lot

laughed more

and surrendered to the promise that i WILL see the goodness of the Lord as His promises are fulfilled. 

all in all, its been a good year, a year worth living. a year i feel i lived well.

malawi

here is my heart.

I had no intention of going to Africa, in fact I told God I would go anywhere BUT Africa. Now I can laugh about it. 

My passion has always been injustice, although it did take me 22 years to understand that. The Kingdom moments that I mentioned in the previous blog served as springboards for this revelation. My personal life story has also given me a heart for women and children in any abuse settings. I long to be an advocate for people and to restore worth to those that would otherwise be void of it. If I get to take part in restoring the innocence of a child, my life has been lived well. Hence why I have chosen to go to graduate school for Marriage and Family Therapy. 

Whether you are a believer or not, we can all recognize the importance of bringing justice. 

I, along with a small team, get to take part in bringing justice to a local justice center in Malawi. The team will be split into 3 sub teams: pastoral, legal, and counseling. The teams will provide intensive training on skills pertaining to the specific needs of the community. 

I will remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:13-14

  

A trip like this cannot take place without the support of those around me. As many of you know, the transition from college to post college has been difficult. Having your thoughts and prayers means so much to me. In addition, the total cost of the trip is $4000, which sadly I do not have the funds for. 

One final request, if you feel led to give and want to partner with me, please feel free to send financial support in the labeled envelopes and make the checks payable to FLOOD. There is also the option to give online at http://DIVEintoFLOOD.com/give. Registering for an account will ensure tax receipts. The code for my team is MA711RW. My name will pop up on the drop down. 

$5, $10 or even more would help me greatly. 

Thank you ahead of time for your thoughts and prayers. Feel free to continue to follow me on my blog. I hope to share my experiences with you!

thank you for your love and support, i need it. 

The Lord's Prayer becomes mine...

The Lord’s Prayer becomes mine...

I spent 2 years refusing to say the Lord’s prayer. I did not understand the implications of it, but understood that asking for the Kingdom of God to come to earth was a substantial request. I promised myself that I would not utter those words until I understood the gravity of their meaning.

“Our Father (Abba) in Heaven,

Hallowed (honored, blessed) is Your name (that I carry).

Let the things of heaven, the beauty of restoration come to earth as it is in heaven, let us bring them.

We ask for provision of our daily needs.

Please forgive us for the wrongs we have done, and help us to forgive others.

Please protect us, and steer us from temptation and doubt,

but deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the Kingdom forever.

Amen.” 

Matthew 6: 9-12 (but its adapted into my own words...whoops)

This prayer has the power to transform every step I take. 

Even in the opening line, “Our Father”, my father. He is my Abba, my Father and that is a vivid depiction of the intimacy He calls me to. And in that, to be assured that as His daughter, He takes delight in me, in addressing Him as His child.

“for you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship (daughter). And by him we cry “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.”

romans 8:15-16

I am His daughter. I carry His name. 

“for this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom ihs whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name.”

ephesians 3:14-15

My identity cannot be compartmentalized so that I am removed from His name, just as my name cannot be changed depending on my lifestyle or mood.

I hold tremendous responsibility. As I walk through life, am I wearing His name well? 

Am I encouraging others to wear His name well? 

“for you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord.” 

ephesians 5:8-10

The Kingdom piece. I cannot, and will not consolidate 2 years of research into a small portion of a message. But I will explore the importance of it. 

When I ask for the Kingdom of heaven to come to earth, I am asking for pieces of restoration and hope to be visible to others and to myself. I am asking for God to make right what the world has made wrong.

I have 2 moments that I call my Kingdom moments: Once in Honduras and once in India. I am not saying that the Lord only provides Kingdom moments abroad, God just knew my heart and knew how to bless me. 

While on a trip to Honduras, I, along with my family, had the opportunity to visit a brand new school for children with special needs. This was unheard of in Honduras. As I walked through the door of the school, I was overwhelmed with tears of joy. I could not contain myself. God had restored hope and worth to these children that would otherwise be void of either. Children that would have been shoved to the side were receiving care and education. Their needs were being met. THIS is God’s Kingdom. 

The second Kingdom moment took place in India. I, along with my team, visited a restoration center for women and children rescued from red light districts in India. Again, my heart swelled with the beauty of the picture of heaven I was able to observe. Women and children that would otherwise receive carelessness and live in despair, were being told how beautiful and worthwhile they are. 

God’s Kingdom makes right what the world has made wrong. God’s plan, His intent, is to bring restoration and reconciliation to ALL of His children. 


When I am asking for the Kingdom of heaven to come to earth, I am asking God to bring pieces of hope and reminders of His promises. And I strive to wear His name well enough to help bring that as well. 

Why would I keep myself from asking for that?