reflections of a year...

reflections of a year

it has been one year since i left the comfort of Point Loma Nazarene and entered into the harsh world of reality. Realistically, this time has been marked by God showing me His role as Provider. 

I will not say that the journey has been easy, as that would be a lie. But I was recently reading and this struck me:

“Jesus said to her, ‘Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?’”

John 11:40

Seeing God’s glory. And in that, finding contentment in what I have seen. 

I had no plans post graduation. I had a few floating ideas but mainly wanted to survive. When I was offered a position at a summer camp, I never thought that it had the power to invade my heart. Looking back, had God not intervened when I wanted to run, I would not have the blessings of Miss H and Diva C in my life, nor the sheer joy of their presence and the presence of many other dearly loved children.

From moments of elation to long afternoons of tears, Abba taught me how to love, and love selflessly. There were days when I felt that every pore within me was leaking with it, yet most days, I struggled to be patient and kind. I clung to the promise that we are all His children, with whom He takes delight. Despite the fact that some days I am covered in my kid’s snot or throw up, I have been entrusted with the care of these children, treasured by my Father, and I have grown to love each child for who she is. 

This life is not about me or anything I accomplish. This life is about loving and serving. I spend every day ensuring children of their significance. And although I have limited monetary funds, I am rich. 

Richness extends not only to my occupation, but also to my friends. God, as my provider, blessed me with incredible women whose lives are based in faith. These women are women I am honored to call friends. And although I felt as though, at times, I was too much to carry, their love only strengthened. For that I am eternally grateful. Life in community is, at its core, good.

“He has showed you what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

Micah 6:8

Within the last year, I have learned the importance of not only appreciating where the Lord has me, but cherishing it. I love to live life, and I believe it live it passionately. Part of this great call in Micah is living everyday in a state of grace and contentment. Striving for what is good, but never neglecting to learn in all situations. 

For Rachel, Robino, Papa B, Maddie, Lynn, Lauren, the families, Gingy, Linds, Brit Stew, Bcann (princess), TLe, Traceroomie, Megan, Soph, Shelb, Shelly, Deedee, Nicole, Kel, Kelwellsy, Kari, Les, Craig, Ken, Kels, Jason, Corb, Greg, Caroline, Stephen, Matt, my girls from Nease, and there are many more, but it would go on forever--I would not be the woman I am if not for your presence in my life in the last year.

In one year, I have: 

completed 2 life goals (finishing college and running a marathon)

learned how to cook my favorite meal

fallen in and chosen to love

spent 2 hours in silence on the cliffs-this should have been a life goal, it was a miracle really

endured a broken heart

undergone the grieving process

started a life goal (graduate school)

been awakened to the fact that God’s Word was written and written for me and is alive

sang a song in public

learned how to shoot a gun

became a regular at a coffee shop

made unexpected friends

started my blog

was programmed into one of my kid’s computer

received reconciliation and restoration in situations where the Lord’s timing was perfect

cried a lot

laughed more

and surrendered to the promise that i WILL see the goodness of the Lord as His promises are fulfilled. 

all in all, its been a good year, a year worth living. a year i feel i lived well.